World’s skinniest linebacker makes a comeback

October 12th, 2008

Osaka, Japan. After a three year sabbatical, 30 year old Joseph Bryant Stewart, a.k.a. “The Mad Stork” found his way back on the gridiron with the team ‘Checkmate’. Asked why he chose to play again despite a myriad sports related injuries, Stewart replied “I’m an idiot.”

The “Stork” saw limited action as an outside linebacker in his first (and only) game back, though he made the most of it by blindsiding the opposing QB early in the third quarter. Ironically, Stewart’s sack turned out to be the opposition’s biggest gain of the day, as he was penalized 15 yards for ‘unnecessary roughness.’ “It was worth it!” was all he would offer when later questioned about the penalty.

‘Checkmate’ went on to win 55-0.


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