Thursday, June 16th, 2011: Lakeland, FL to Nashville, TN
Bon Voyage! (Rene thought it was be funny if we all grew our mustaches out for the trip, only he shaved his the day before)
It was sad saying goodbye. It always is. This time though, it felt weirder. I guess because my heart wasn’t completely convinced that I was doing the ‘right thing,’ whatever that is. Mom was her usual emotional self and I was mine; feel it on the inside, try not to show it on the outside. Aunt Valerie stopped by to wish us well and off we went. Big John in the passenger seat, Lil Rene in the truck cab with all the luggage and yours truly behind the wheel.
Most people are pretty high energy when then start off on a journey and we were no different, at least Rene and John. I was off in my own head and concentrating on the road. I’ve become a pretty cautious driver, which is somewhat expected, since I hadn’t driven regularly in years.
Coffee break in Georgia
I took us into Georgia where we stopped to stretch our legs and grab a coffee. First observation about America…’Starbucks’ is EVERYWHERE! It’s got to be right up there with ‘McDowell’s’ in terms of locations. Even though you are just sitting, driving can really tucker you out. I really don’t know how these long-haul truck drivers do it?
So, we get into Nashville a bit late, but early enough to grab a bite to eat. Sitting in the restaurant looking outside through the big glass window, I learned a fun fact about Nashville…it is an alcoholic’s paradise. I think we were all a little surprised out how much partying was going on on a Thursday night.
Plantation House
The next day we got up relatively early, got some exercise in and then headed out for the day. We stopped by a honky-tonk for a late breakfast and asked the waitress what there was to do in Nashville. She responded with a question, “Ya’ll drink?” Yes ma’am, but usually not at 11am.
We wound up visiting an old plantation, which turned out to be pretty nice. While taking the tour of the house, our homosexual guide, “Clay (not his real name)” could not stop admiring Big John’s belt buckle. The only thing was, John wasn’t wearing one. After a bit of time, Clay mustered up enough courage to strike up some conversation with the big guy, opening with, “how tall are you, anyway?” Watching John squirm was, and I think I’m speaking for Rene here too, well worth the price of admission.
Southern refreshments
After the tour we checked out a small winery on the premises. Though it was only lunch time, the three of us agreed to buy a bottle and drink it outside (actually, John and I agreed and Rene bought it!). Two glasses later and I was toasted, which was more or less a teaser for the hi jinx to follow later in the evening. The wine put us all in the mood…to nap, so after we grabbed a late lunch, we went back to the hotel and relaxed for a bit.
Pre-sloppy
The hot southern night was awaiting us, so we tooled up the best three guys living out of a suitcase could, slapped some cologne on and hit the town. First stop…”Coyote Ugly!?” Well, it was a start. The girl behind the bar was an absolute bore, but after watching her gyrate over a customer who was laying atop the bar, just inches away from my face, all was forgiven.
Turns out “Coyote Ugly” is popular stop for bachelorette parties, so we stuck around a little longer than we expected. Being that we were in Tennessee, I thought I’d stick with the whiskey for the entire nite (although it wasn’t Jack…shhhh!!). It was a laugh in ‘Coyote,’ but it was time to move along, so we hit a country western bar called “Tootsies,” which apparently is a famous stop in Nashville. Rene’s “invisible hand” lead him to a group of ladies upstairs, one of whom was a Floridian. The Floridian and her friends were going to some club next door and invited us along. I wanted to go, but the guys were still in wandering mode, so we hit the streets instead.
yee haw!
While we were looking for the next place, Rene overheard a couple of guys speaking Spanish, so he turned around and struck up a conversation with them (Rene speaks the Spanish too). The next thing we know, the five of us are squished inside one of the guy’s Toyota, yelling and laughing hysterically over the sound of straining stereo, which was pumping out a shitty kind of music known as “reggae-ton.” I don’t know what we were all laughing about, but I assure you, it was absolutely hysterical!
Ten minutes after our little thrill in the car, we arrived at our destination, which, from the outside at least, looked more like an abandoned warehouse than the disco we were expecting. Once we got in though, the place was absolutely hoping. I really couldn’t believe we were at an underground salsa party in Nashville, TN, but the randomness of it all was a huge part of the appeal. We all had a ‘grand ole time!’
Indeed
The next day we had to wake up early for the next leg of the trip, and as I was hunched over the toilet heaving, I started to wonder if my whiskey plan was such a great idea after all. After we got cleaned up, we started our journey to Missouri. It was my turn to drive, but about an hour in, Big John mercifully relieved me of that duty. I really have not felt that rotten for a long time, but by the time we got to our next stop, I was back in form.
To be continued….
'Man of Action' 