“Dark Knight Rises”…and so do I!


I had to wait an extra week, but it was well worth it.  Last Sunday I saw The Dark Knight Rises with my buddy, ‘Gumby.’  The movie was everything I’d hoped it would be and I’m already anticipating it’s release on disc so I can watch it again.  As much as I enjoyed it the film, getting to and fro the movie theater was an absolute m-i-s-s-i-o-n!

The theater is just under an hours ride from my house.  I’ve made the journey once already and thoroughly enjoyed it.  This time was different.  Since both of the tires on my bike have a slow leak, I decided to borrow my roommate’s ‘deathcycle,’ which upon first glance, looks perfectly serviceable.  Fast forward ten minutes and all I could think of, aside from how many swear words I had left in my vocabulary bank, was the ol’ expression “never judge a book by it’s cover.”  By the time I made it to the theater, my clothes were well soiled with sweat and my hands were black with grease, after having stopped multiple times to reattach the bike chain.  Thankfully, I had my friend’s pending visit and the movie to distract me from the thought of riding home; a ‘play now, pay later’ philosophy that has served me so well over the years (actually, it hasn’t).

My usual seat, please.

As bad as the ride to the movie theater was, the ride home was much much worse.  The good news is that I was able to work out, with a very tight grip, how to keep the gears from slipping (mostly).  I also managed to keep the chain from jumping off, which was no small feat.  The bad news?  Despite the road being flat for the most part, I felt as though I were riding in quicksand, since the only gear that would stick happened to be the lowest.  Did I mention the that the seat was half the height it should have been and tilted forward, so I was basically kneeing myself in the stomach with every pedal?  And speaking of pedals, it took five rotations to equal one on my regular bike.  Midway through my trip home began feeling like lab rat being pushed to the brink.

To add insult to injury (I pulled some

For those who have seen the movie, the ‘deathcycle’ represents Bane and I am the broken Batman beneath it, but fear not, I come back stronger than ever!

unknown muscle near my groin the day prior), I had to deal with all the cars/motorbikes whizzing by, bellowing exhaust in my sunburned face.  Then there were the cries of “hello Misterrrrrrr(s)” that were particularly annoying since I couldn’t speed up the bike for fear of the chain coming off.  At least I was fortunate enough to catch the wind in the wrong direction (it’s windy season here)!

{*Funny side story:  I was about 300 yards or so away from home when I banana dropped from the sky; a gift from the gods!  I was so hungry that I was about to stop and pick it up, but was so fatigued at that point that I decided I should just bust home instead.  Had I stopped, I’m not so sure I would’ve gotten back on the bike.  It made for very disturbing/amusing internal dialogue.}

I had difficulty sleeping that nite, so I got up at 2:30am the next morning and exercised pretty hard.  Monday afternoon found me in the dump, both physically and mentally.  I felt like I’d been hit by a cement truck.  Later that evening, I was offered some mysterious tablets by my host dad.  I gladly accepted.  I was then offered a massage by my roommates, which is not something I would normally seek out from a random fellow, but I was desperate and said agreed to it.  The next thing you know I’ve got not one, but TWO grown men on my back massaging me with some ‘snake oil’ they claimed would heal me.  I was in no position to argue at this point, so I let them do their thing.  I kept being asked if the oil was hot yet and I said no, which made them believe I was some kind of superhuman that didn’t feel pain (their hands were already burning).  I went to bed afterward and about five minutes after I laid down I started feeling a warmth on my back and that warmth quickly escalated into a code red fire!  From that point on, I just laid perfectly still so I wouldn’t drown in a pool of my own sweat.

Mercifully, the day concludes. Tomorrow would be different.

Surprisingly, I woke up the next day feeling much better.  I told the guys about my ‘hot back’ and they thought it was hysterical, so everyone came out a winner.  It was an interesting couple of days.  I was up, down and up again, not unlike my beloved Batman character in The Dark Knight Rises.  Thanks again for coming with me, ‘Gumby’ ; it was good to see you. And thank you too, witch doctors for bringing me back from the dead!


12 thoughts on ““Dark Knight Rises”…and so do I!

  1. I got to that part about your back being on fire and seriously was laughing out loud. I had to then run the story by Jay cause he wanted in on the joke and he had a good chuckle too. Entertaining as always, never an ordinary day with you. Thanks for sharing xox

    • hehe No, it never is, is it!? I was thinking the same thing when I was ridding through the wind storm. I’m glad you two could squeeze a giggle out of my misery…there is no better laughter than watching a friend suffer. 😉 Have a great nite! xo
      P.S. what is the best time to visit Australia?

      • the banana falling from the tree also a high point. please don’t be toying with me joe….are you seriously coming to see us all the way down here finally?? really depends on where you’re going I think most of your friends live on the east coast right? look you can never pick the weather for example it’s middle of winter here and we’re heading off to the park today in our t-shirts as the sun is shining down and not a cloud in the sky but I would say during summer best and especially January for Sydney as the summer festivals are on so plenty to see and do. Would be great to see you 🙂

  2. So … you gonna ride back and see it again? (haha) Sounds like “hot back” should be a code word for something … “Man that bike gave me the hot back!” … “That person really gives me the hot back” … Let’s work on it.

    • I don’t know that I would accept payment to ride back on that thing. My roommate tried to get on it yesterday and the chain actually BROKE, so in a way I guess I was lucky(?) haha, indeed we should! I’ll get right on it.

      • “hot back”! Bahaha…reminds me of the old “hot face” I used to experience over in japan.

      • Am I serious? As serious as a bad case of ‘hot face!’
        I’m going to try and work this out somehow, but I’m sure I’ll need your help. Let me start doing the ground work and I’ll get back to you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s