Awkward Moment of the Week (A.M.O.W.)

Here’s how it went down.  My roommate had just left the house for some dinner party.  I said goodbye, closed the door and locked it behind him.  I then decided it was a good idea to strip down to my britches and practice doing a handstand in the living room (don’t ask).  Five minutes later I hear a knock on the door.  “Son-of-a…!”  By this point I’m dripping with sweat and half dizzy from being upside down.  I can see through the windows on either side of the front door (there are no curtains).  It’s, literally, “the girl next-door.”  There’s no telling how long she was standing there before she knocked…..oh boy.

Shameful

I scramble to get dressed, grabbing the first things I see.  So here I am, pants unbuttoned, disheveled hair, sweaty, sporting a dirty, black polo shirt that has toothpaste stains on it from a morning mishap the day prior.  Oh, and my collar is popped!  And now that you’ve got that disturbing image firmly planted in your head, here’s what happen next.

I open the door and this young woman, who is always super friendly, but whom I’ve never really been introduced to, is holding a plate of food in her hand.  I ask what it is and she tells me it’s nasi (rice, a.k.a. dinner).  I invite her in.  She’s saying a bunch of things, very little of which I’m understanding.  I’m still sweating and a little out of breath from my gymnastic’s program.  I give her one of those high pitched “thank you(s)” that you do when you are in an awkward situation.

I then take the plate from her hands.  She’s still talking and having a bit of a look around the house.  I take the food into the kitchen and she follows me in.  She’s staring at me, not saying anything now.  I start getting a funny feeling, like maybe she is waiting for me to make a move or something and I’m just standing there like a piece of bamboo, uncomfortably smiling, swaying and saying whatever Indonesian comes to mind (not much, as it were).  Just when I think I’m about to be taken advantage of, she says “piring, Joe.”  The whole time she was just waiting for me to transfer the food she brought to a new plate so she could take hers home.  I was very relieved…..and just as disappointed.

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One thought on “Awkward Moment of the Week (A.M.O.W.)

  1. This is an amazing story. I’m really excited to meet you, you’ll have to retell this in person. I won’t ask why you practice doing handstands in your room, but I will tell you that I can totally empathize with the shirts with toothpaste dribble — somehow it always happens to the shirts that I recently picked up from the laundry lady. GAHHHHH.

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